School, school. school. What to do?

First day of kindergarten, off to meet the first of seven teachers!

For our family school is important.  We now have a second generation in our family of college graduates.  We have a joke that it's the girls in our family that go to graduate school.  My niece just headed to graduate school at George Washington University, where her cousin graduated from several years ago.  Many of the kids have gone to the universities in their own state and others have moved across the country to such places as NYU and Bowdoin in Maine.  It's really hard to understand that school is not a positive place for all kids when all around you it's not only expected that you go to school but that you excel in school.

Then we have our Z.  It just seems that she is a magnet for anything and everything that can go wrong in school.  It's a given that a student who is deaf and has mental illness is a challenge.  That's probably the one and only thing that everyone would agree about.

Just to give you an example of an "only can happen to Z" incident. When she was in kindergarten before we moved to the district with the "best deaf education" (not) she was with the teacher for the hearing impaired in the morning and in regular kindergarten in the afternoon with an interpreter.  Sounds like a great plan to meet her needs.  Well, one afternoon her interpreter was absent so the school didn't look for a substitute, just decided to send her back to daycare.  Just called for a bus and sent her to daycare.  Didn't call the daycare, Z just showed up!  Didn't call me, just sent her!  Never, ever in 32 years of teaching have I heard of any school doing that.  I can think of many kids in my classes over the years I would have loved to ship off to daycare or anywhere else but you just can not do that, it's public school!  That's how our school experience started and has not really improved since then. 

We have heard some incredible statements and been in some amazing situations such as:
"We don't know what to do with her so we just let her wander around the classroom"
"What are we going to do with her all day?"
"She has to change schools because state testing is coming."
"She's suspended from the hearing impaired program (after only six days)." And then didn't get any services as a deaf student for the entire the school year.
Oh yes, then there was the year when her class had  seven teachers and that's not counting the substitutes they had when there was not a teacher.
And last year when they asked me to help "transition" Z to another classroom and I ended up working as her interpreter/ aide for three weeks for FREE.

So, where does that leave us now?  Well, Z is at the residential treatment program in FL and I made a huge assumption that they would have "cutting edge" school program.  Big mistake!  My first clue should have been when the assistant principal told me that Z. didn't really "fit" in either elementary classroom at the residential program for deaf kids with behavior issues.  Heard that a just few times!  But the assistant principal; assured me that Z would spend time in each classroom so that all her needs can be met.  And I believed her!

Seems they don't really have a curriculum, or program or materials that you would expect from a school for deaf children. I find that so hard to believe but I am still  kicking myself for assuming that they would.  What's wrong with me for thinking they would.  Z arrived for the last two weeks of summer school then there was a break.  School started but it was decided that she would be in only one class and I'm still not clear why.  But my radar for teacher "double talk" had been triggered several times. I met with the teacher and the assistant principal on my most recent trip and thought we at least had a positive start.  THEN, the teacher quit and moved!  Yup, it happened again!  And the new teacher does not sign and is not a teacher certified in deaf education.  Can't even believe it!

soooo cute for the first day of 1st grade

My first thought is that she can be at home and get no deaf services so why does she need to be 2,000 miles from home and not get deaf services?  Let's just bring her home.  In my ever ready, parent advocate mode, I spent alot of time composing an email to the executive director about all the deficiencies in the school program.  But before I sent it I realized that it was not helpful and we just need to meet again after they have had some time to sort out the impact of this teacher leaving and see if they can realistically meet her needs in school or not.  But if they can't meet her needs, let's say they want her to stay with the teacher that doesn't sign and doesn't have any experience with deaf kids.  What are my options? 

I can just blow off the school portion of the residential program and let another year go by without a school program for hearing impaired kids.  I can bring her home and hope our district will do a better job but that seems rather unlikely given the track record over the last six years.  Considering that the district initiated her going to the residential program and in the meeting today they said they are "waiting" to see how she is before they consider a program for her after discharge. Not promising for discharge planning!   I could just give up on school all together and fill her days with things she likes and enjoys, skating, gymnastics, friends and family.  She always ready to go to a play or get on plane.  But I think she has potential that would be totally lost with that choice.  I can bring her home and do academics at home ( that was successful for two years) and she can go to school for a few hours for lunch, recess, speech, OT and to be with other kids.  So there would be minimal expectations for what school needs to accomplish.  Think they could handle that? 

School has been such a struggle for Z.  How can we build as many skills with her as possible, in a way that she can feel positive and be happy?  Maybe it won't be in school?  But where and how?

A Chance to Think

I am now in Florida for my third stay while Z is at the National Deaf Academy.  I go and see her twice a day and in between I have lots of time on my own.  This should make Clinton happy, I can't avoid my thoughts and feelings by keeping myself busy, busy, busy!  Heaven knows I have tried, even started doing Ancestry.com but because I don't know anyone here, I'm alone most of the time.

This weekend I find myself feeling sorry for myself.  It seems ironic that I'm here for one daughter that really is not able to have a conversation with me, I understand that. She tries but we mostly talk about her interests, today she was focused on Halloween, it could be a long two months until the holiday!

Then the other daughter who is great at conversation, refuses.  I miss her and I don't understand it. 

Not sure where that leaves me but I have time to think about it while I'm here.